I dated Tim for two years before he called me as I waited in line at Dairy Queen one night, and told me we shouldn't be together anymore. And in that moment, I could've sworn to you that my entire reason for existance was no longer there. This was the boy I built my life around. The boy who I dropped and lost a lot of friends over, because I was so consumed in being with him. I truly believe I was obsessed.
And so, on August 12, 2007, as I sat in my mother's room, sobbing my bitter, broken heart out, I honestly thought dying was better than living without him. Even though he had lied to me, put me on the back burner, and made me an option -- I still "needed" him.
And who did I have to go to? Every single one of my friends, and I mean ALL of them, I had lost contact with because of him. I sat at home most nights, feeling so incredibly lost. Feeling like I had ruined my life.
That was the beginning of my senior year. As school started back into full gear, I started becoming consumed in new things. I was the Editor in Chief on the yearbook staff. I started a new job that I absolutely loved. I made friends that I was with almost every single weekend. I went to football games on Friday nights. Life started feeling right again, and soon enough, I was dating again.
I guess I thought about all of this today, because I see and hear about girls everyday who are so heartbroken, so bitter, and so miserable because they lost "the one".
And so I think if I learned anything from my relationship with Tim, it was these things:
No matter who it is you're dating, keep your friends close. They were there before he was, and they'll be there after he's gone. Never make someone your priority if you're just their option. It makes you a doormat and a sucker. And lastly, if he walks away, let him. Because there is always some out there who's gonna know what they have when they're with you.
Although I frequently say I wasted two years with Tim, I can honestly say I'm grateful for those years. They taught me very valuable lessons, and I can honestly say I'm [mostly] a better person for it. I'm thankful for that heartbreak.
Monday, April 6, 2009
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