lessons learned.

I dated Tim for two years before he called me as I waited in line at Dairy Queen one night, and told me we shouldn't be together anymore. And in that moment, I could've sworn to you that my entire reason for existance was no longer there. This was the boy I built my life around. The boy who I dropped and lost a lot of friends over, because I was so consumed in being with him. I truly believe I was obsessed.

And so, on August 12, 2007, as I sat in my mother's room, sobbing my bitter, broken heart out, I honestly thought dying was better than living without him. Even though he had lied to me, put me on the back burner, and made me an option -- I still "needed" him.

And who did I have to go to? Every single one of my friends, and I mean ALL of them, I had lost contact with because of him. I sat at home most nights, feeling so incredibly lost. Feeling like I had ruined my life.

That was the beginning of my senior year. As school started back into full gear, I started becoming consumed in new things. I was the Editor in Chief on the yearbook staff. I started a new job that I absolutely loved. I made friends that I was with almost every single weekend. I went to football games on Friday nights. Life started feeling right again, and soon enough, I was dating again.

I guess I thought about all of this today, because I see and hear about girls everyday who are so heartbroken, so bitter, and so miserable because they lost "the one".

And so I think if I learned anything from my relationship with Tim, it was these things:
No matter who it is you're dating, keep your friends close. They were there before he was, and they'll be there after he's gone. Never make someone your priority if you're just their option. It makes you a doormat and a sucker. And lastly, if he walks away, let him. Because there is always some out there who's gonna know what they have when they're with you.

Although I frequently say I wasted two years with Tim, I can honestly say I'm grateful for those years. They taught me very valuable lessons, and I can honestly say I'm [mostly] a better person for it. I'm thankful for that heartbreak.

maybe i should re-evaluate my career goals.

Just a quick story, guaranteed to bring a smile.

Last night at work, an elderly man came up to the service desk with a pair of bedroom shoes. After complaining that he couldn't find the size he wanted, we had a conversation that went something like this:

Man: So, have you gone on America Idol yet?
Myself: I'm sorry?
Man: American Idol. Have you been on there yet?
Myself (chuckling): No sir, I don't sing!
Man: Well, darlin', I never painted either and then one day my daddy handed me a paintbrush and taught me how to use it and I've been painting ever since!

Watch out American Idol. You and me. Next season. Ha :)

the biggest loser.

Just a quick rant on the reality TV show, "The Biggest Loser."

This is the third season I've watched of the show and is also the most DRAMATIC.

I am so tired of watching these people cry because they can't have the trainer they want, whine because they're getting ganged up on, and sobbing because someone they became friends with got sent home.

IT'S A COMPETITION.

1. If you didn't get the trainer you want, SUCK IT UP! Kick butt in the gym, and give your 110%!

2. Take people ganging up on you as a compliment. Seriously. It means you're doing good and they're intimidated.

3. Your friend got sent home? WRONG. Your COMPETETION got sent home! Be thankful it wasn't YOU!

I'm done :)

hot and cold.

Here's the thing.

I'm not one to complain. Really, I'm not. But I think I'm speaking on behalf of just about everyone in South Carolina on this one.

I AM SO SICK OF THIS BIPOLAR WEATHER.

I want it hot, or I want it cold. And I want it to stay one way or the other. I hate having a few days of beautiful, seventy degree weather, only to be faced with another week of frigid, forty degree marks. It's confusing and very mean.

Winter either needs to just give up its reign, or Spring needs to back off for a few more weeks and quit trying to rush in.




(Springtime, do not take this blog offensively. You're still my favorite :) )

the next generation may be in trouble..

So, I know the economy crisis is a really big problem in America and affecting millions of people right now.

However, since I've been working at the oh-so-wonderful KMart of Berea, I realize that there is a much bigger issue at hand. That being said, I am very concerned about the current generation of children out there.

As I was doing "go backs" against my will (and job description), I pulled a "game" from the bottom of the buggy and carried it to the toy aisle. It wasn't until I got to the aisle itself that I really began examining this game, and was completely taken aback, and felt the sudden need to pray for the children of America.

The "board" was a 3D, size of two fists, nose. Lining the rims of the nostrils, was a thick, green crust. The object of the "game" was to pull out the (gulp) boogers and the meaner the booger, the more points you score.

I gagged, literally, while looking at and reading through the instructions for this. I mean, really! This is so crude! Kids are taught their whole life not to pick their nose, and now they get points for picking someone else's!

*shudders*

KMart also opened my eyes to candies such as chocolate skittles, chocolate bubble yum, ice cream spray, and Sweet Tarts in a glue form contained within a squeeze tube.

God bless America...

a quickie.

So, I've fallen a little bit behind in posting. Reasons being?
School.
Work.
Church.
Studying.
Errands.
And managing to eat and sleep somewhere in between the two.

I'm stressed out beyond belief, and feel as though I owe a million different people two million different apologies. Sigh.

But, I'll be back soon enough, and I have plenty to come back with.

Melissa

then where does it go?

I did my first load of waiting laundry today (I still have three lingering piles) and I was very tempted to pull apart the dryer and dig until I found its secret world. Put down the phone, don't ask the operator for the number to the psyche ward. If you think long enough about it, there has GOT to be some secret place, the dryer's version of a WhoVille, if you will. Because if there isn't such a place, then answer this for me. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK GO?!

Melissa

he's gotta do what he's gotta do...

It seems like everytime I mention to someone that my boyfriend is enlisting into the US Navy this week, the first question they ask is, "What do you think about that?"

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad people are concerned. But. It doesn't matter what I think or how I feel. The number one factor is that Wayne is happy with his decision and that he is going after something that he wants to do. Ultimately, he will come out with more opportunites and a better person, which makes me extremely happy for him.

BUT. If you must know how I feel about the whole thing, here it is.

At first, I was very heartbroken. I knew that by going into the Navy, that he wasn't going to be in Greenville for a long while. I was very selfish about the entire thing to begin with. All I could think about was how I wasn't going to be able to seem him when I wanted to, couldn't just call him when I wanted to, etc. It was utterly devastating. However, after a lotttttttt of talking with a lottttttt of different people (including Wayne himself), I've become more comfortable with the idea. To quote Lawren, I'm stronger than I think I am, and I know that he and I will be able to make things work while he's gone. Yeah, it's still kind of a heartache for me, but time heals all things. I'm very excited for him, and already so proud of him.

On to happy thoughts :)

It's snowing in Greenville. And not like just dusting the area. I'm actually class-free tomorrow (quick sigh of relief -- had a paper due for Speech 205). It was exciting watching the flakes become mounds of untouched fun. Sadly enough, it'll all be iced over tomorrow, but atleast I got to put my prints into the soft, thick sheet of snow. I love it! :)

Melissa

something more.

The worst thing about me is that I am an antagonistic, analytical worry wart.
I tend to take the smallest of things and blow them up, and eventually, out of proportion.

For this very reason is why I am unable to accept change with the grace that most people do. I try to figure out where I fit in with it, how things are going to turn out, and what's really in between the lines.

And here's how that's applying now.
I was hit some news that week, that seemed to me, to come from out of no where. And the first thing my selfish mind did was start its own series of questions:
"What about..."
"Isn't there another alternative?"
"Are you SURE?"
and the worst one..
"What if?"

And so this morning I was listening to one of my favorite songs when I was stopped dead in my tracks.

My mind went back to an old, but true, cliche:
Worrying is a lot like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but gets you no where.

I think the song will speak more for itself than I can ever try to explain, so I'm posting the lyrics here now. And while things aren't nailed in place right now, I know there is always something more than what I'm able to see...

"Something More"
Kristy Starling

Everything's changed, and I want to believe
There must be a reason, there just has to be
Cause my faith is strong, till it all hits home
And it's not enough for me to trust
When it hurts too much

On the days I feel like I've failed you
The days I feel I've been failed
I need to praise You
For I am Yours, I'm Yours

Where is the power, to give what I gave
Give back the strength
Give back the faith I had yesterday
Cause you are my God
You are my Great I Am
And I know I have fallen but..
I have landed in healing hands

On the days I feel like I've failed you
The days I feel I've been failed
I need to praise You
For I am Yours, I'm Yours

And in my fraility, you lead me to something more
So I close my eyes, cause inside my heart
I believe, that I'm not alone
You'll always be there for me

On the days I feel like I've failed you
The days I feel I've been failed
I know that I need to praise You
For I am yours, still yours
Cause I believe you lead me to something more
Something more, something more

just saying "hello" :)

I've typed and erased this first paragraph approximately six times now, because blinking insersion points and lots of white space intimidate me. Makes me wonder what I could possibly say that would draw you to keep reading, to keep coming back for more. I guess this will be an interesting (or devastating) test run.

I decided I wanted to start blogging whenever I realized that I am a very opinionated person. I'm also very observant. Combine the two, throw in a pinch of satire, and I do believe you have the receipe for a half decent blog. So, I guess this whole thing may turn out to be just rambling, carrying on, and nonsense. Never, ever will I mean to offend anybody, so don't take anything I say on here to heart. I'm stating simply how I feel or how I see things (it gets interesting, I promise). So, I guess, thanks for taking time to reading this mess of rambling. Keep checking back for more (or don't. But is it biased for me to say that I would?)

Melissa